I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
