Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
