She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
im on a boat
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