Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
