I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
