I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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