she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
