epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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