You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
