can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
