im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
