none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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