distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
