Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have already put on my inside pants.
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