I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
