I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
