so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
