So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
