Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
