We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
