either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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