I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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