i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
