also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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