Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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