So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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