Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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