just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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