He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
