i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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