you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
