Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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