The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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