That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we should paint friendship bongs
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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