She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You pole danced in your parka.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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