If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
