dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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