Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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