That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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