No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
