You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
