My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I deserve this hangover.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
