Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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