if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
As shirtless as possible
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
