RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
