Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
