We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
