come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
