yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
