like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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