is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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