just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
